Growing up and dealing with your siblings moving away

You will probably go through many breakups in life. Whether it’s with your girlfriend, boyfriend or a friend (those really suck). But after many nights of crying on your sister’s and brother’s shoulders, you will finally get back on your feet. The breakup that I’m talking about is something that you will never get over (at least deep down inside). Speaking of crying on your brother’s and sister’s shoulders, it’s exactly this breakup that I’m talking about:

The sibling “breakup”

I’m not referring to the sibling breakup in the sense that we don’t talk to each other anymore and that we stopped stealing each other’s food (that will NEVER happen). No no, I’m talking about that actual moment when you have to physically SPLIT up! You know, when you get old and it’s time you live by yourself.  This recently happened with my brother and sister. At least with my brother, he moved to another country. My sis and I are still roomies! And the three of us were just really upset! I thought I was going to drown in my own tears.

In case you still haven’t been through the sibling “breakup”, prepare yourself and cherish every moment you have with them! Here are the 8 reasons why the sibling “breakup” is the worst breakup you will ever go through in life. That is of course, if you’re siblings are great people like mine. But I’m sure all siblings are great … right!?

They are your first friends and travel buddies

Moving around all my life has been great …. but also tough. You always have to make new friends and build a new life every four years! But with Lorenzo and Giulia, moving around wasn’t that hard in the end, cuz the three of us were like the Three Musketeers, only that we called each other (still today) the Three Little Pigs (it’s my dad’s fault, he read that story countless times to us before going to bed. If you were wondering, my brother is the “smart” one, but we are still fighting over it)!

Knowing that you have a brother and a sister to come home to, to play with, to be stupid with or sad when everything is changing around you is the best comfort in the world. When everything is changing, you realise that your family’s love is the constant.

They taught you that sharing is caring … sometimes the hard way

I don’t know how many times my sister stole my favorite Barbie. Or how many times my brother stole my super cool mountain bike. Siblings steal your toys, people! They also steal your clothes (I’m the first one doing that). More about that here. They even steal your FOOD! My brother still steals my sushi when I’m not looking … (I’m going to get you next time)! They also “steal” your friends. Forget about MY friends, they are OUR friends!

It’s not like everything becomes everyone’s. But you are much more open to sharing things with each other. You help each other in the way you can, and sometimes that’s by allowing your small sister to play Barbie with you and your friends or playing tag with the kids in the neighbourhood, even though your sister is very small and she isn’t a fast runner and always loses. And that goes for my poor brother as well, who let me and Giulia play BB gun with his new rifle… then I fell in a ditch and the BB gun rifle  broke. He looked at me with possessed eyes.

I don’t think I ever ran that fast in my life.

They are the most honest people you will ever meet

So you know when you’ve changed outfit 10 times and you’re making everyone late to that party? You put on the 11th outfit and your friends don’t even look at you and say “you look soooo good!!”.

LIARS!

If you need an honest opinion, go to your brother and sister. My sister just takes a look at me and says: “Ah fe, no.” Translation: “No.”

She doesn’t even formulate an opinion, she dives into your closet to find you that perfect outfit (and when she feels really bad for your horrible outfit she lends you clothes).

Then there’s my bother. You go into his room thinking you look great and you ask him “Lorenzo, how do I look?”. And he’s on his computer playing a game (yes they still play those at that age) and looks at you for 1 second and says “I don’t like it”. You want to die at that point and punch him. But hey, they are HONEST!! If they weren’t there to honestly judge me, who knows in what weird outfits I would’ve gone out with!

They know how weird you really are

I have close friends that know how weird I am. And of course, my boyfriend REALLY knows how weird I am. But my brother and sister grew up with me. So they know the evolution of Federica. They know everything.

They know what you used to say about your first crush. They remember the outfits you went out with. They remember your smile with braces. They know the most embarrassing moments of your life, because they were there to witness them. And they still bring them up and you all laugh together.

You learn from them

Yes they are annoying so many times. But I would be a complete liar if I said that I didn’t learn anything from them.  Spending time with your siblings makes you look up to them. The fact that there are different personalities that are in constant contact with one another makes you learn things that you would’ve never learned on your own.

My brother taught me to always be myself. I don’t know anyone in the world that is as “pure”as my brother. Pure in the sense that he has no mask. He is the way he is with EVERYONE. He never changes. Lorenzo is the most honest and real person you will ever meet. And he is also super calm (but I like to think that’s thanks to me and Giulia, growing up with two girls  must not have been easy)!

Giulia taught me that you can overcome anything, that you are your only obstacle and you need to empower yourself.

She is bold. She is fierce. I don’t know anyone that has the power to say and stand up for herself and others the way she does. It’s incredible. The funny thing is she’s the youngest one!

You get free psychological sessions from them. Whenever you want.

How many times have you had a melt down? Or you needed to calm down? It may be for the stupidest reason ever too!  Whenever those happen (and they happen often) you might not want to bother your friends with your craziness. But you WILL bother your brother or sister!

You just cry and tell them everything that has happened, and they actually listen to you. Even if you’re upset over the same thing for the past 2 years. They listen to you. They watch movies with you.

You eat popcorn together (Lorenzo always gets his own bowl of popcorn, Giulia and I share)! You spend time doing absolutely nothing but having the best time ever.

They always have your back

Being three siblings means that whenever we had a fight, it would be two against one. The one that was flying solo was really unlucky. We’d do pranks to one another (really funny ones). But apart from having to fight with two people instead of just one, it also means that when it’s time to confront your parents or get your way, it’s three against two. So our point would get across, cuz three kids whining are REALLY annoying. Still today, we partner up!

They also have your back in school and in life in general. If you’re having a problem with someone, they will be there to help you. Not to overstep of course, but there for you.

And hey, if someone is giving me a problem, I know they’ll be there for me.

They are your #1 supporters

When you feel low or you don’t feel satisfied with yourself, or you’re just having one of those bad days, your siblings will be there to remind you who you are. They will cheer you on.  And they WILL make you feel great again.

They will bring up funny stories about your childhood just to see you smile. And they’ll check up on you to make sure you’re good. Whatever road in life you want to take, they will always be there supporting you 100%.

And although I know we will always be the Three Little Pigs, not being under the same roof anymore, knowing that I can’t barge into my brother’s room at 5am to annoy him with my life is unfortunately marking the end of an era. But hey, at least I won’t get my sushi stolen all the time, right!?

Do you have any coping mechanisms I could try?