What it’s like growing up in different countries around the world

The truth about growing up in multiple cities

I’ve lived in 6 countries around the world: the USA, Italy, Iran, Turkey, the United Kingdom, and Hungary, and in 7 different cities: NYC, Tehran, Rome, Houston, Istanbul, London, and Budapest.

This is all because my father is a diplomat, and moving to a different city every four years is routine. Most people’s reactions when I tell them about my life story are, “You’re so lucky, I’ve always wanted to move,” which is usually followed by, “Which was your favorite country?”

But what most people don’t ask is: “How did it feel moving away all the time?” or “It must’ve been a wonderful experience but also very tough, right?” And those words are words of wisdom. Because I truly am so lucky to have had the opportunity to live in these countries, not just visit them. It’s something I will never be able to thank my parents enough for. But let’s be real: while moving and growing up in different countries is amazing, like everything in life, it also has its downfalls. The most obvious one is constantly moving away from family and friends.

But I’m not here to tell you about the downfalls—I’m here to tell you what it’s like. Because for different reasons, today we’re all moving away more often. Maybe for work, family, or just out of curiosity. Here’s what I can tell you I’ve learned from my experience of growing up in different countries around the world.

Your mother-tongue is a mix of two or more languages

Whether I’m speaking Italian or English, I have a constant tendency to speak in “Itanglish”—you know, that mix of Italian and English. I’ve done it all my life, but only with people I knew could understand me. Once, a girl in university pointed out how easily I switch languages mid-sentence; she was amazed.

The tough part is when I can’t speak Itanglish or sneak in a bit of Italian during English conversations, because I feel like I can’t express myself 100%. Why would anyone need to use two languages at once instead of just sticking to one? The answer? Growing up in different countries means you’ve constantly switched back and forth between languages. While you know both well, sometimes the word you need is only in one of them! And even if you don’t fluently speak the local language, you still pick up phrases and gestures that become part of how you express yourself. It’s amazing!

You need a support system

The first time I moved away and truly felt the impact of it was when I was 7 years old and living in Rome. I had spent almost four years there until we had to move to Houston, Texas. In my head, I wasn’t fully understanding what was going on; I felt excited to go on an adventure to a new country. Of course, I was extremely sad to leave my friends and family behind, but I was also intrigued to go live somewhere so different.

The thing is, when I got to Houston and went to school there, everything was completely different. The language was a bit of a barrier at first, the kids seemed to play different games (apparently, Barbies were a toy for “losers” at the age of 7!), and there were odd dress code rules that seemed completely over the top (what is up with tucking your shirt in all the time?). Things were very different, and sometimes, even with the friends you made there, you didn’t quite feel like yourself. And especially at the beginning, it was very tough. It was hard getting used to a new place with completely different habits.

I have a younger sister and an older brother. My sister and I have a three-year age difference, while my brother and I are only a year and a half apart. I can’t explain enough how amazing my life has been because of them. They were the people who were always there for me, the constant when everything else was changing. They are my home. Growing up abroad in different countries was wonderful, but without them, I imagine it would’ve been unbearable.

Answering the question “where are you from” isn’t that easy

You know when you begin a new school year and are asked to stand up and introduce yourself in front of the class? The teacher instructs you to “Say where you’re from and tell us something about yourself.” Oh crap. And that got me thinking: where am I from? It’s only now, in my twenties, that I say I’m from Rome, because I feel like I am from Rome now. I feel Italian because I’ve spent the last few years living here. But when you’re younger and still growing up, you’re so confused. You don’t understand where you’re from, because you’re still finding your identity. So every time someone asked me where I was from, a looong story followed!

You become flexible

If there’s one thing people who’ve grown up in many countries have, it’s adaptability skills. Without them, you wouldn’t be able to survive. That means you’re able to adapt yourself to a new country, a new language (even if you don’t fully understand it), different types of school systems, new friends, new homes, and new situations. This is probably one of the biggest advantages you get when growing up in different places. You become flexible and able to fit in different types of situations. And with today’s globalized world, you seriously need to know how to adapt to new situations and lifestyles.

Visiting a country is completely different from living in a country

I’m a huge supporter of travel because traveling the world really does open people’s minds. Seeing cultures that are different from what you’re used to is so important. But trust me on this: living in a country is completely different from visiting it. Which is why I can’t stand it when people tell their travel stories as if they know the place completely after only a week there. One of my pet peeves? People who travel and think they know everything. OMG, please stop. You don’t know everything.

I lived four years in stunning Istanbul. I will never forget it, and it holds a special place in my heart. It’s bustling, chaotic, fun, and full of life. The people are some of the most exquisite I have ever met and will go above and beyond to make you feel welcome. The whole place screams life, diversity, love, and chaos, and as a foreigner, you find yourself caught up in its fantastic culture. You slowly start to feel at home. The sound of the Muezzin call to prayer, which was at first so foreign, becomes something you can’t be without. I think this is the difference between visiting and living in a place: when something that was once distant slowly becomes part of you.

Home is more than one place

I feel that Rome is my home. But when I think about my life, where I went to school, who my friends were—it’s not only Rome that I think of. My memories are scattered around the globe. Home is where you feel comfortable; it could be a place, but it could also be a person. I like to think my home is built with bricks from all the places I’ve lived in and all the memories I cherish. Home is when I think of our Christmases spent in Houston—some of the most beautiful Christmases ever. Home is my mom dressing my siblings and me for Carnevale parties in Rome when I was a little girl. Home is my old street in Houston, where we used to play hide and seek with our neighborhood friends. Home is the smile of the gardener in Istanbul. It’s the smell of my grandmother’s pizza filling the house. Home is all those weekends spent in our pool playing with our friends in Houston or the tree house my parents built for my brother and me when we lived in Tehran. Home is walking in Ortaköy and admiring the ships on the Bosphorus. Home is when my best friend Ilaria came to visit me in London. Home is Luca’s hug when he picks me up at the airport. Home is all those Easters I spent with my family at our home in Assisi. Home isn’t just one place.

You’re a professional suitcase maker and packer

Tell me you want to take me to Asia tomorrow, and I will have my suitcase packed instantly. After so many moves, I’ve become a professional suitcase maker and packer. Whether it’s for a weekend getaway or a big move, I know what to take, and I can pack immediately. I have friends who ask me or others about everything they’re going to take because they don’t want to forget anything. I find that crazy, maybe because I’m really used to packing. I remember when we’d move houses, our parents would tell us to pack what we would need for the next few months, because everything else was going to be boxed, and we wouldn’t be reunited with our stuff for many months! The hardest decision was always which stuffed animal to take!

Often times, you crave foods that aren’t available in your current city

It’s ironic that I live in the country with some of the best cuisine in the world, but I still crave things from other countries all the time. One of my biggest cravings is chocolate chip cookie dough, either the ice cream flavor from Baskin Robbins or Pillsbury cookie dough (yes, I’d eat it right out of the bucket). I also crave köfte all the time—a Turkish type of meatball—but not just any köfte, the köfte from that small bar next to my old school, the best köfte I have ever tried. Not to mention the mussels with rice that you get in Çesme during the summer! Yummy!

You’re in love with year books

For a person who has lived abroad all their life, you can imagine the amount of yearbooks I have from different schools! And I’m in love with them! People often belittle yearbooks and their importance. But if you’ve attended lots of different schools, they’re something to cherish!

International schools will feel like home

When I moved back to Rome at 16, everything felt a little different. Sure, I had to integrate into a new school, new people, and a new system. But it had never been easier. I think it’s because it was an international school. There were people from all over: Italians, Spanish, Israeli, Indian, American! It was wonderful. And while we were all different, we were also so much alike. Some of my closest friends, whether they’re in Rome or far away in another country, I met when I was at the American Overseas School of Rome. My favorite school of all time.