“Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer.”
Sure, but if you end up traveling with one of these 9 types of travelers, then you might want to ask for a refund!
The slow traveler
- It takes him/her just 50 minutes to wear something (and ladies, that doesn’t even include makeup).
- He/she is always the last one to get into the car (again, because it took him/her 1hr and 30 minutes just to wear something) and you’re just WAITING there.
- Even their walk is slow (and no, sometimes there is no panorama that needs to be admired).
- When you’re in the airport and you’re running to your gate (which is closing in 2 minutes), your friend casually walks around and window shops.
- They always forget something.
- You take five steps and they already took 50 pictures of the trees. THE TREES!
- You’re relaxing on the beach and you’re asked to take ONE picture of them which ends up in 100 pictures (you start thinking that you have enough experience to be hired as a photographer at America’s Next Top Model)
- They go on and ON about how many likes they’re getting.
- They have 500 pictures of JUST the first day (not including the night).
- They always post the picture where you look like SHIT. ALWAYS.
- They always check into a place to show they’re cool. They flew 10,000 km just to show that they’re in Tokyo at THAT bar.
The unlucky traveler
- Mysteriously something bad ALWAYS happens to this person. It doesn’t matter where he/she is, something is ALWAYS up.
- You enter a club and her shoe magically breaks. Of course YOU have to take her to the hotel to get another pair (praying these ones won’t break).
- They always lose something. Their phone, their bag, their dog …
- It’s their turn to take the shower and there’s no hot water left. Even when they’re the first to take the shower.
- They get stuck in restaurants’ bathrooms. How does that even happen??
The attention seeker
- He/she is probably an only child (but not always).
- Doesn’t really understand that a conversation is NOT a MONOLOGUE.
- They just go on and on and on (even with people who don’t speak the same language) and who clearly aren’t understanding anything.
- Most of your hangovers are his/her fault: they never let you talk and you end up finishing the whole wine bottle.
The control freak
- Treats you like you’re five years old at the airport and won’t even let you hold your own boarding pass (he/she is scared you will lose it).
- Asks the bartender to make their drink strictly using their INSTRUCTIONS. Recipe for a Margarita: half tequila, half cointreau, lime juice and salt, and “please serve it in the right glass”.
- They travel with her own bed linen. They do not trust the five-star luxury hotel will clean the bed linen.
- They do not allow you to do anything out of schedule. They even schedule when to go to the bathroom.
- There is no way we can explore the cute town we just stumbled upon. It’s not on the schedule.
The cheap skate
- There is NO WAY they leave a tip (there’s no doubt the waiter spat on their plate at least once during dinner).
- They NEVER lend you money (even if you’ll return it at the hotel). You have to have collateral.
- They always go to the bathroom when the check comes.
- They’re always comparing prices of everything. WE GET THAT THE PASTA COSTS 1 EURO MORE AT THIS RESTAURANT.
- They even try to get a discount from a bracelet sold by a poor vendor on the street. They end up paying 50 cents for it and say they overpaid it.
They think they know EVERYTHING. If you said something 10 years ago about ANYTHING, you’re doomed.
- You go on a tour and they whisper all the details about the place even before the tour guide. PLEASE SHUT UP.
- They took a semester of Japenese in college and of course they assume they’re bilingual.
The unorganised traveler
- They do everything last second and forget EVERYTHING.
- They don’t pack enough clothes (and continuously asks to borrow yours)
- They forget primary sanitary products (toothbrush, deodorant, razor …. )
- They forget to notify their credit card company that they’re traveling abroad. The card gets blocked.
- Sometimes, they forget their credit card pin. And blame other people for it.
The scaredy cat
- Scared when the plane takes off (and makes you hold his/her hand).
- Scared of the taxi driver (he/she is for sure a rapist or a fraud).
- Scared of local cuisine (it’s filthy and will give you Ebola)
- Scared of water sports (he/she will either break a leg or get eaten by a shark)
- Won’t go on rollercoasters, the nails holding the thing together could unscrew and then WE’RE screwed.